Notion of Grief

“I had my own notion of grief.

I thought is was the sad time that followed

the death of someone you love…and you had to push

through it to get to the other side.

But I’m learning there is no other side.

There is no pushing through.

But rather, there is absorption…adjustment…acceptance.

Grief is not something you complete, but rather, you endure.

Grief is not a task to finish and move on, but an

element of yourself…an alteration of your being.

A new way of seeing.

A new definition of self.”

(Author unknown)

Abandonment and Betrayal

Abandonment and Betrayal

Abandonment and Betrayal, I find those most painful emotions must be felt, looked at and recognized for what they are…abandonment and betrayal…the rawness of it.  A present reality that springs forth the hurt of years past that have not been given their due.

As a recent widow, coaching women who have experienced devastating loss, I’m very aware of the impact of these disruptive emotions on my everyday life.

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The Journey

The Journey

Larry missed his oncologist visit, he can’t walk but a few steps before collapsing.  He’s not eating.  He’s drinking very little.  The Hospice nurse is coming in today.  

Hospice is it’s not always about the end of life, they can be a huge support to the entire family, much more than what I’ll call “regular” nursing visits.   They ended up being an incredible blessing.  We, both Larry and I, couldn’t have gone through this process as beautifully as we did without their support.

The missed oncology visit was frustrating.  But Larry wasn’t going to tolerate any treatments.  He’s so weak.  He’s stopped walking.  He’s speaking very little.

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